i'd rather be with........

i feel really lonely a lot of the times. i can be in a room or even a house full of people but want nothing else but to hide somewhere, or run away.

i dont know if i have ever been hanging out with a girl and not felt lonely. being with girls just makes me talk and think about boys. and boys make me feel less lonely.

and some boys make me feel totally un-lonely. and when i say boys i dont even mean that kind of boy.

some of my best friends are guys. and with them, i feel safe, like i can tell them anything and they will listen, and care.

i have always wanted a big brother, and that is what these boys are to me.

and someday, ill have a boy. that kind of a boy. and he will come in, and sit at the end of my bed, and tell me his stories, and ill tell him mine. i love stories.

goodnight.