a little change of plans.

{christa.prom 2009}

{me.lorraine.spring 2009}

so, i wasnt planning on doing the prom this year... but with the help of timo, lauren, and lorraine, i got roped into it, and now i am pretty excited about it! christa {who i havent seen in MONTHS} is coming over tomorrow so we can get ready together. and i made chocolate covered strawberries for us to munch on! : ) my tummy is bursting from anxious butterflies! : ) pictures to come, i promise!

{happy thursday}

fail me week.

i am such a let down this week. im making everyone so frustrated, and then i try to fix things by just taking myself out of the equation completely... and all it does is make things worse.... why...?

let the secret out, set it free.

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.
Chuck Palahniuk

keep calm and carry on.

sunday night. crazy week ahead of me. crazy weekend behind me. and i {unbelievably} have a smile on my face. how can i be so optimistic? how can i be so joyful? mindblowing. and i dont have any answers. but... im happy. im excited for life. im here. im carrying on.

well. i found out why my tummy hurt.

i got into a car accident this afternoon on my way home from school. a fellow classmate ran into the back of me. so. now i am without a car until who knows when.

also, i got my letter today regarding the summer governors school art program. they "regret to inform" me that i was " not selected to participate".

happy friday everyone.

my tummy has this feeling inside.

tonight i feel uneasy. about something. but i dont know what. and i wish i knew. because i want this wierd churning to go away...

tea is the only thing that keeps me holding on.

first day back home, first day back to school, lost pens&pencils, dropped phone, forgotten crafts bag, dropped keys, lost schedule, missed practice, no motivation, undone homework.... this is a crazy tuesday. i am totally not here right now. my mind is on central avenue, sitting in starbucks drinking an iced coffee fixed the lindsay way. tea has been the only thing keeping me from falling, my calming comfort. speaking of tea... i need to make a fresh cup.

im excited for tomorrow though. i have a love affair with wednesday nights. they make my adrenaline rush, and my smile shine, and my soul jump for joy.

i miss my friends...

lovely loves. tess

i havent wished in a while...

....well, not on here anyway. i wish all the time in my head. but, there is something so pleasant about wishing here. so. here it is.

i wish for patience.

i need it badly.

patience in everything, and as soon as possible.

a new hippie.

{i rambled...im sorry.}

my father calls me a new hippie... whatever that means. but, i just consider myself tess. i like simplicity and plaid. i like all things creative. not because its the popular thing to be or to take interest in. no. i like it because i do. and that is me. i like drawing with crayons on the kids menus in restraunts. i like taking showers and feeling clean. i like falling asleep to the sound of rainstorms. i like windblown hair. i like coffee and tea and sugar. i like baking. i like blogging. i like adventures and road trips, and they are always funner with destinations unknown. i like meeting new people. i like being open. i like spontineity. i like honesty and truth and being true to yourself. i like freedom. i like birds. i like water. i like dreams. i like things i cant fully comprehend. i like letters and numbers, i think they are pretty. i like looking at ice because it reflects the colors surrounding it. i like writing about things and drawing pictures of things i see. i like ice cream and spoons and bowls. i like cupcakes. i like peace and joy and love. i like people. i like being connected. i like playing games. i like cuddling. i like hugs. i like the smell of murphy's oil soap on my hands after art class. i like imperfections. i like colors, but i also like white and black and all the shades of grey in between. i like big windows, and sitting in them. i like nighttime, and staying up late doing random nothings and drinking tea. i like leggings and long shirts. i like shorts. i like cookies. i like cultures. i like long hair. i like being short, and being with short people. i like having passions and convictions and opinions. i like lists. i like pondering. i like wish bottles, falling stars and eyelashes. i like times or places that have significance. i like things shared between just me and one other person. they feel so secret, and i like that feeling that only us too will ever understand why something is so funny or cool or heartbreaking. i like comfy couches. i like the sun. i like snow. i like cloudwatching. i like stargazing and sunset picnics. i like waking up to the warmth of sunshine in the early morning. i like sleeping in. i like good books that remind me of my reality...as long as they have happy endings. i like infinity. i like black tattoos. i like going barefoot. i like giving gifts, and writing letters. i like planning parties and attending ones too. i like cutoff shorts and my favorite plaid shorts. i like headbands. i like being me. im going to stop now...

a first attempt of the songwriting sort.

so, ive never been the songwriting type, but i have made a first attempt.... :)

Midnight Minute.
I am with you and you are with me.
In the middle of the darkness.
Making moon shadows in the midnight.
I don’t want to leave, time cant make me.
Come here, just lay with me now.
Stay with me now. Hold me now.
We will break time together.

Watch the second hand disappear,
lets break time together.
Lets break time together now.

Forget about tomorrow,
We can lay here forever now.
Forget about the schedule,
Hide me in your arms now.
We’ll hide together right here,
where the hands of time cant reach us.

I don’t want to leave, time cant make me.
Time cant make me.
I don’t want to leave, time cant make me.
Time cant make me.
I don’t want to leave,
I don’t want to leave you.
Not now, not ever.

Lets break away from time together.
Lets break away,
lets break away right now.


We’ll run into the twilight,
we’ll race under the stars,
we’ll hide between the tall grass,
and the hands of time wont follow us far.

I don’t want to leave, time cant make me.
Time cant make me.
I don’t want to leave, time cant make me.
Time cant make me.
I don’t want to leave,
I don’t want to leave you.
Not now, not ever.

never too soon.

I cant wait to grow up. Im so close now.

All I dream about is a cute downtown apartment {with awesome amazing roommates}.

I can see myself now, sitting on a little comfy couch with my tea and leggings.

Working on my laptop, with the sun shining through a big, open window.

I see myself again, hanging out in the kitchen with a group of awesome amazing friends, eating yummy good food.

And another time, I see me and a bigger group of friends, crammed onto our front porch, laughing and telling stories, and having way too much fun.

Im so close now, to being able to take responsibility for myself.

it’s a scary thought.

But the pros outweigh the cons by tons.

So, I am ready for it.

I know it.

I feel it.

Im anxiously waiting for it.